Biggs Learns about Animals

Lol, so one day a couple weeks ago, my Dad started yelling at me to take the dog out. It was probably around 10:30pm and I was NOT feeling it at all. But nevertheless, I have to take care of my responsibilities. So I grab his leash, and Biggs and I are out the back door. I try to take him on different routes, just in case he ever gets lost, maybe he'll be able to find his way back home. Tonight, we head down to the other side of Canterbury Ct. which normally I avoid in the mornings, because of these weird little crayfish that are done there. Lol, seriously I can hardly contain myself as I try to give the story. So we're walkin, we're walking...lalala down the street, and Biggs walks into a patch of grass. As soon as he steps in the grass, this black dot, hops up into the air right in his path. The dot jumps, Biggs jumps, and then I jump. I quickly recovered my composure; however, after realizing that it was just a frog. But Biggs is totally converged on this new, weird whatsitsname, and stares it down. I gently try to convince him that's its alright, and go to pat his back. Biggs shoots up in the air again, this time almost as high as my head, because he thinks another frog is out to get him. Lol, I cried laughing all the way home...Whew, that was funny!

Line up the shots!

So, I felt so horrible for leaving my dog at home all day. He decided to chew up the buckle on his collar, so it took me an extra half an hour to stop and get another one so we could go on our daily walk. The dismal pleas of my otherwise lively and ferocious little bundle of poop are all I hear when I pull up to my house.

Of course, like any good mom, I run to the door grab his collar and rush out the door while apologizing for being exceedingly late coming home. Biggs and I are walking, we're walking and he takes a little mini-poop. I was thinking to myself dag, I left you in the house that long and this is it, but whatever we continue our walk.

Once we come inside, I fix his food and begin to eat my dinner. But, noooooo he doesn't want the good ole Purina puppy chow that is reserved exclusively for him. Like any greedy, B.A.D. he wants whatever I'm eating.

I flip on the tube and chow down on my leftovers from La Fiesta the previous night. No sooner than the first piece of shrimp hits my fork do I hear a loud clanging upstairs. I slam my food down and begin to run upstairs. I hit the top of the steps and am smacked back down by a wall of fetid feces ( a big pile of s&$t). I mean he just totally disrespected me like I didn't even walk him.

But the fun doesn't even stop there folks. So after I clean up the stinky pile of poop. I put the pet gate back up, as well as anything tempting to Biggs' tummy. Well, at least anything I thought he would find tempting.

I quickly walk to the mailbox to check my mail. When I return to the house, the dog immediately walks the opposite direction of my. And anyone who has children or pets knows exactly what that means. He was doing something he had no business doing. I check to see what's missing. Bread...check, butter...check, jelly...check. Now I am puzzled, so I walk towards the direction he came from, and found my bottle of Bacardi Superior and a puddle of rum on the floor, from which my dog was partaking.

Now what in the world...this fool has lost his dang blasted mind. I am wondering if I should take him to the vet, but he's sustained much worst so far. We'll just wait it out. If anything, maybe I'll get a good night's rest.